Is everyone ready for some TITS? This week, we are sitting down with the man who puts the fun in Funcle, Jack S Raymond!
Hey Jack, welcome to TITS. We’re all excited to have you here today. Let’s start out with an easy question. What do you do for work?
I work as an Accountant in a Manufacturing position for a shipyard. It mostly involves staring at excel sheets until numbers start murdering each other. (Hence why 6 is afraid of 7)
Aside from videogames, what hobbies or pastimes do you enjoy?
Board games. I am an avid collector of complex long board games and love to play them as well. I don’t have enough room in my apartment to store all of them though.
What is a skill you have that you take pride in?
I have excellent time keeping skills. I’m pretty accurate when I tell someone I’ll be there in about so-so minutes. Also makes waking up for work optimized.
Any fun facts about yourself?
Surprisingly, I have no brain damage despite running into multiple walls as a kid. I also can do a convincing drunk guy act so well that after a Shakespeare play, people asked me if I raided my dad’s cabinet for practice. (Whether tish *hic* nobler in the mind to shtuffer the *hic* shlings and arrowsh…)
How long have you been playing video games and what are some of your earliest memories with games?
I recall my earliest experience with video games started with Halo: CE. It was at a fall garage sale at a friend’s house. Like every younger brother, I followed my brother (Pentad) and his friends downstairs to watch them play games. They were playing Halo until the moms called them for help. My brother handed me the controller and said, “Here, play.” I was immediately hooked beating down the covenant as the awesome Master Chief. I have been playing various video games for life, but Halo still holds my heart.
What are your favorite foods, music, movies, shows, etc.?
Foods would have to be Steak dishes. Something about that cow just warms me inside. Music, I tend to like a variety. My favorite artists are Fall Out Boy, The Chainsmokers, and OneRepublic. (For the record, it’s not too late to apologize for these choices)
Is there any special story or significance to your gamertag?
So yes. I had a lucid dream when I was younger where I was this super-agent action hero for this magical firm. It was the only dream I can still recall to this day. I learned that the character I was playing was called Jack and I just expanded from there. First to his last name as Raymond, then his middle initial as a pun/example of his character (Say Jack S real fast)(Jack S real fast). It became sort of my alter ego and I use it practically for everything now. I eventually want to write a book about him.
Let’s talk a bit about Destiny and Clan Truth specifically. When did you first start playing Destiny, and can you tell us about what drew you to the game?
I didn’t get the chance to play D1 because it wasn’t on PC and that was all I had at the time. My brother kept telling me about it because he knew I loved Halo 3 and bungie was designing the game. Eventually D2 came around and I got it for PC and fell in love. The gameplay to the abilities to the story just was amazing. (So, Pentad did a good thing?)
What is your favorite/primary class? Why?
I have and always been a hunter main. I love them not only for Nathan Fillion’s portrayal of Cayde-6, but they also get a massive flaming golden gun to incinerate their enemies. (Sounds like compensating…)
Who has the best jump?
Honestly Hunters for me. The triple jump is a nice save and I get some real height. Warlocks have the worst because if you screw up you just glide on down to your death. (git gud)
If you could remove any one weapon from the game, which one and why?
Honestly Le Monarque. I just get so peeved going against that bow in crucible, especially in Momentum Control. Shotguns I can usually deal with or counter with my own but that bow…nope.
If you could design an exotic weapon or armor, what would it be?
Some Hunter Gauntlets for the Stasis subclass that makes the Kamas be able to be wielded like the chaos blades from God War. Swing them as melees or throw them with ice chains to retract them. I’d call it Chaos’ Eternity.
If you could date any character(s) from Destiny, who and why?
Probably either Elsie Bray or Petra Venj. They are both strong independent women that can be sensitive at times. They both have something driving them and are both badass warriors. (No argument here)
What Destiny characters would you ship together that aren’t already?
Eris Morn and Drifter. Hands down. Ship name Drifting Hive. (You’re going to upset Disco)
We’ve covered the standard questions, now let’s move on to learning more about the real Jack S Raymond.
What did Pentad do to deserve the title of the lesser brother?
It would probably have to be kicking me out of his apartment to find my own place. Something about needing room for his wife. Honestly, I don’t know. All I knew was one day I was in my own apartment with Pentad saying “BYE!” (At least you’re not stuck with him 24/7 now)
What did you do to deserve to be Pentad’s brother?
I was probably cruel to puppies in a past life. *Wipes tear* (I have a hard time imagining you being cruel to anything. You probably rescue mosquitos)
How difficult has it been to fill the Duchess-sized hole in CT?
Very Difficult. You can’t just replace a person like Duchess. She’s pretty unique. Luckily, I have Shua to help and Geist to pick on.
You’re gonna be an uncle soon! How are you feeling about that?
I am already an uncle thanks to the sister! But I am really excited to have more minds to corrupt to the dark side of dad jokes and really bad puns. (Wait, there’s a sister? You have 72 hours to get her in the Discord server.)
What life lessons do you hope to impart on your upcoming nibling?
“Everyone says it’s the journey that’s important or the destination. It’s both. You have to have something to go for, but also a path to wander there. It’s okay if you take it slow, or take it fast. Enjoy the stops and the goes. And remember to take a break by the river from carving out that mountain.” (Holy shit Jack, that was incredibly poignant)
If pay, work hours, etc., weren’t an issue, what would be your dream job?
I want to be an accounting teacher at a college. I had a tutoring gig thanks to passing a class by midterms and it was really fun. I think it would be cool to impart knowledge on to the next generation about something I enjoy.
Who do you think is the sexiest admin?
I’m going to break the trend and say St Cephalopod. (Confirmed. Jack is into hentai)
What are some of your favorite uncle jokes?
“What do you get mixing alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird!” (ugh…)
“Why are piggy banks so wise? They are full of cents.”
Can you tell us about the time you were propositioned for a menage a trois as a minor?
Oh, that is a memory. So, I dropped out of high school and got a GED. I immediately went to community college that fall. I took a class that was for computer programming. There was a slightly older dude Early mid 20s next to me that I had to help several times with his work. Eventually one day he turned to me and said, “Dude you are so smart, it’s crazy. Hey, my girlfriend and I are looking for a third to spice up the bedroom. You interested?” I looked at him like he was wearing poop. I replied, “Um I’m only 16” He immediately raised both hands and started looking around as if people from Catfish were about to storm in. “Wow what!? I had no idea. My bad bro!” Needless to say, we never talked much after that. (He should probably have a seat right over there…)
What is the eeriest thing you have ever seen/encountered?
I think when I was younger, I encountered… something. There was a massive greenspace with a creek behind all the houses in our suburbs that all the kids played in. It was late one summer night, and I was lagging behind my family, and I looked towards the creek. I saw a shape in the darkness with two little lights. Then slowly, each light blinked individually. Then both disappeared. I ran to catch up with the rest and never talked about it. (just some swamp gas being illuminated by the atmosphere)
Describe what you were like at age ten.
Unique. I was hanging out with friend making “fireworks” in his backyard and the next moment doing LARPing (although we had no idea that was what it was at the time) or I was trying to pass English via the hands of a gracious tutor.
If you were handed $50,000 in cash and told it had to be used in the next 7 days to take a trip worth writing a book about, where would you go? What would you do?
I would absolutely love to go to Greece and Italy. I am a huge Mythology nerd and to see the architecture and ruins from those times would be amazing. I would take so many tours through the temples and attempt to try some of the exotic food. (I would 100% join you. Greece and Italy are high on my list of dream trips)
Who is the best character on Sesame Street? Defend your reasoning.
Elmo. Have you seen how many memes there are of that guy?
What is the best cookie?
Pure chocolate chip. Can’t beat that original.
How are you enjoying that Series X?
Amazing, it runs like a dream and makes playing Destiny so much better. THANKS FIREY!
What is your dream vehicle?
Cobra GT500 Mustang. Or I think it’s called the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 nowadays. A video game character had one and I’ve wanted one ever since.
If you could meet anyone in the world dead or alive, who would it be and why?
Leonardo Da Vinci would be really cool to talk to. I bet he had some cool stories and some interesting views about the world. (Alive or dead though?)
Tell us two truths and two lies about yourself.
I once broke my hand trying to stop Pentad. I can speak Greek. I have stolen at least $500 dollars in the past. I’m a fast swimmer. (I’m pretty sure I know the answers, and I want to know more about what you were trying to stop Pentad from doing)
What made you laugh the hardest you’ve ever laughed in your life?
God, just ask Sgt Maj Waffles. I lost count of how many stupid things he’s done that have just broken me. Every time, I have to mute myself to try and catch my breath, and I just hear “Welp I killed Jack again” which makes me die even harder. One time that comes to mind is during Vault of Glass during one of the templar encounters. I had just learned how to use Worldline Zero whilst placing flags. I did it so the flag was way off the edge in the back while Witty was explaining some things. I just started snigger and I watched Waffles turn his character to me. “What did you do?” I kept chuckling and they eventually saw it and said, “Oh god damnit Jack.”
Do you have any phobias?
Absolutely not. Why would you think that? What have the things in the dark been telling you? It’s LIES! (I heard you’re scared of spiders)
Who would win in a fight, you, or Pentad?
Honestly, I can’t tell. We are pretty even. Pentads got more muscular density on me, but I have some fighting background.
Why are you the way that you are?
Because if I wasn’t, who would bring groans to your life!? (I only groan for my subscribers)
People talk a lot about Duchess or Disco being the nicest admin in the clan. How does it feel knowing that title truly belongs to you?
Well, that is news to me. I feel honored but I don’t want to get between them. So let me just leave the crown back in the open for them to fight over. (Exactly what the nicest admin would say)
If you were a meal, what would you be?
A 16oz Steak sirloin with a loaded baked potato and roasted carrots.
What is your favorite Assassin’s Creed game? Why aren’t you streaming it more?
Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag. I loved every part of that game, from the assassinations, to the land exploring, and of course the sailing with the sea shanties. Because I am trying to make my way through the rest of the games I haven’t played. I’m almost done with Origins (keep telling yourself that) and then on to Odyssey, and then Valhalla. (Interesting. As I absolutely hated Black Flag, nearly ruined the series for me.)
If you could pick a flavor to never be able to taste again, which would it be, and why would it be salt?
It would not be salt. It would be whatever vegetables fall under. I struggle as lame picky eater to properly eat my healthy vegetables so not being able to taste them would help. (Hit me and Duchess up, I’ll bet we have loads of recipes and tricks for tasty veggies)
What is your personal theory as to how Banditt lost her hand?
Honestly, I think she slapped some people so hard it broke her hand beyond repair that the doctors had to amputate it.
Are you coming to Truth Con?
I really really want to! If my work lets me and I have the PTO I will be there!
What is the one thing Spider-Man can’t eat?
Uncle Bens Rice *Sad face*
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in there.
How does Banditt play the guitar?
She uses her teeth to hold the chords and strums with her actual hand. (I heard she learned to play by ear)
Is there anything else you would like to tell us about yourself that we haven’t covered yet?
Nope. Thanks for reading to the end! May you all have a blessed life and keep being a force for good!